Timelessness of Grief
Grief is timeless. You may choose to bury grief. You may choose to hold on to it for fear of losing what brought you to it.
We don’t get to “work” ourselves through grief. It just has to work itself through us…. in a timeless fashion….
It doesn’t lesson with time; it changes with time. People never leave us; we change how you love them. And someday…. oh, I hope … the loss won’t seem as great!
There are days of joy and happiness and suddenly like a gentle stream, a memory passes by and you glance without a grip. Tears ebb and flow with the stream as it turns a corner. You watch.
You come back from your retreat with grief and realize …. you’re still on this wild edge of sorrow … in the midst of living this amazing adventurous life.
And life lives and the journey flows.
Why do we Grieve?
Grieving comes from all aspects of life. It’s not just from the death of a loved one. We grieve because our world changes, because familiar patterns of life are gone, because our future is unknown, because the roles in our life are shattered, because our personal identify was shaken to its core, because our sense of purpose seems lost, because some spiritual beliefs are undermined, because our everyday tasks are overwhelming, because we just do and don’t understand why. And yet, we grieve.
Our Journey of Grief
In our journey with grief, we move as grace allows. We may pursue everyday tasks. We may experience shock and denial. As we adjust to our new realty, and we weather emotional turmoil. Those sudden and unexpected moments of grief may bring us to an emotionally abandoned feeling and yet we move toward acceptance and begin to reconstruct our life to our life with grief. We move forward, because as death is final, life goes on.
Ways to Process our Grief Experience
Each of us lives with grief differently. There is no right or wrong way. No timeline. We may feel like we are on a rollercoaster, feeling out of control. There are ways to guide us through this journey. As we lean in, embrace the grief we begin to heal. Retelling a life story can help us process through our grief of a loved one passing.
The Work of Grief
Healing from grief requires an active inner work on our part. As we rebuild our personal identity, rediscover of passions and purpose, learn to open our heart, we heal day by day.
Tools for Healing
We have within us a grief toolbox. Physical and spiritual aspects of letter writing, seeking encouragement and support, creating a legacy project, mapping emotions, experiencing a guided imagery or meditation are just some tools to help us rebuild our lives from grief.
Signs of Healing
A simple list of some signs that you are healing from grief:
- Memories aren’t as painful
- Being alone is enjoyable
- Holidays are exciting
- Sleeping is normal
- New routines are established
- New routines are established
- Passions and purpose are clearer
- Life feels good again